Song lyric of the day

I keep singing this song in my head and it's really relevant to my life:


I tear my heart open, I see myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much and the scars remind us that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel.



Reasons why I cut: it's one of the rare times I can actually feel something besides the numbness of my life. Today has already gotten off to a bad start. xx -Dani.

July 31st

I haven't posted in a while which really needs to change because I seem to do better when I post.. My uncle finally lost his battle with cancer the other day he had been fighting it for 15 months. We didn't have a great relationship but I still feel bad. I have the right to, right? I've been staying at my sisters house which has been a bit fun besides my bulimia and cutting has been flaring up. Ill have to go back home the 10th because a couple days after my grandpa has to undergo open heart surgery. I really hope it goes okay because I know I'll get worse if it doesn't. I always find a glimmer of hope that it'll get better but it never does. How long do I have to keep holding on? I'm losing my grip. This guy I'm really into doesn't seem to be into me anymore and that hurts too. There's another guy that keeps complimenting me because all he wants is sex. I just feel so alone most of the time and it really sucks. I'm glad to see I haven't lost any followers, it makes me feel a bit better. xx -Dani.

July 6th

Just when I thought life was getting better my grandfather almost died. He had a heart attack on his 80th birthday. His heart stopped four times and he was air lifted to the hospital. He's in the icu and getting better but he has to have an open heart surgery in a month and I'm afraid he won't make it out of it. I guess I'm not meant to be happy because all of this keeps happening to me... xx -Dani.