Picture of the day

I haven't done one of these in a while but I found one that fits my life.. I've been let down and stabbed in the back so many times no wonder I push people away... xx -Dani. 

August 25th

So my grandpas surgery has been postponed because his sodium was too low for them to do it. Which sucks because I know he could be getting worse. As for my kinda bf things are going better and he makes me feel amazing. He raises my self confidence by calling me beautiful and amazing, which I still don't believe but I need to learn to believe. I still cut and I need to stop and I'm still struggling with my eating disorder. I have new glasses coming in the mail as I have lost my old ones like the smooth person I am. People act surprised that I don't tell them things when in all reality I have my reasons. I finally set my guard down and told everything to a friend which was stupid because she didn't care. She acted like she did but she didn't. I meant nothing to her and I now realize that. I guess it's better I found out now rather than later.. Right? School is approaching fast and I'm not happy about it as I start on my birthday, September 3rd. I will be 16 and a sophomore. xx -Dani. 

August 4th

This week has had it's ups and downs. My kinda boyfriend, Connor, seems to make me feel good about myself and he seems really interested in me. Then he switches a flip and acts like he could care less and he doesn't answer my texts. He says he wants to wait to make us official until school starts for reasons he doesn't want to tell me. He can go days without talking to me and it makes me feel like he's embarrassed of me. I mean, I'd be embarrassed to be seen with me too. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen with us but whenever I say I'm done and ill just forget about it, it never works. I just really like him and I want this to work out but I'm pretty sure I blew it. I always mess everything up and I probably don't deserve a relationship. August is my least favorite month because it's the month my dad committed suicide. On the 14th it'll be the 3 year anniversary of his death. I miss him so much it hurts.. Plus now my grandpa has to have open heart surgery too and if he doesn't come out of it ill spiral even more out of control. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough and if anything good comes in my life it's smashed right away. What's the point of trying to be happy when all it does is make me feel worse? xx -Dani.