Sunday, August 4, 2013
August 4th
This week has had it's ups and downs. My kinda boyfriend, Connor, seems to make me feel good about myself and he seems really interested in me. Then he switches a flip and acts like he could care less and he doesn't answer my texts. He says he wants to wait to make us official until school starts for reasons he doesn't want to tell me. He can go days without talking to me and it makes me feel like he's embarrassed of me. I mean, I'd be embarrassed to be seen with me too. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen with us but whenever I say I'm done and ill just forget about it, it never works. I just really like him and I want this to work out but I'm pretty sure I blew it. I always mess everything up and I probably don't deserve a relationship. August is my least favorite month because it's the month my dad committed suicide. On the 14th it'll be the 3 year anniversary of his death. I miss him so much it hurts.. Plus now my grandpa has to have open heart surgery too and if he doesn't come out of it ill spiral even more out of control. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough and if anything good comes in my life it's smashed right away. What's the point of trying to be happy when all it does is make me feel worse? xx -Dani.
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I understand you I lost my grandpa but my grandma's death was more painful, I still have my dad thanks God, but I don't live with him neither my mom. Since I got college I came to another city far from them and my sister. I think that's the reason I'm sad most of time I feel alone, so I try to spend the day at my university because when I'm in my room I get depressed easily and do things I never thought I would do, like cut.
ReplyDeleteI really hope your grandpa get better and wish success in the surgery. Try to be strong for him, I know It's so difficult when deep inside it is not how we are but I'm sure he worth it. And about your kinda of bf you should think better if he deserves your time.
Sincerely,
Dani
PS: Sorry if I don't write well, English is not my native lenguage xx
Thanks for taking the time to comment on my, post it means a lot. Cutting is something I thought I'd never do as well but I guess I can't control what happens to me anymore. I hope things get better for you and your English it great. xx -Dani.
DeleteBfs are crazy sometimes. I'd say talk to him about it. The best that could happen is he changes to fit what you want, the worst that could happen is that you break up, and if he really is embarrassed by you, he doesn't deserve to be with you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have strength around you as august progresses. I'll be thinking of you my dear :)
Thank you Emily, things have been going better with us though August is a hard time. I just am not use to relationships and I don't know what to expect. Thank you so much for thinking of me(: xx -Dani.
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