March 13th

I haven't posted in forever, but I need to stop that. I can't just continue to keep everything in, like I always do. It isn't good for me and I know that. If I don't have anyone to talk to where I am, I know I have my blog and followers. Today I've been thinking about how much I miss my two little brothers. Their mom got remarried and I used to babysit for them when they lived in my town.. But then he got a new job and moved them away so that he could take it. I haven't seen them in forever and I'm afraid they forgot about me. They used to make me laugh and smile so much but now the only time I see them is through the pictures their mom posts on facebook. She doesn't really acknowledge my existence and it really hurts. I cried again for them.. I need to see them soon.. I had the itch to cut again and I had a stupid reason for doing so. It just takes my mind of everything. I have no right to even be depressed.. I'm so stupid, many people have it so much worse than I do. I just self pity for no reason I feel like I should be happy. Everyone judges me like oh she should just be normal there are homeless people out there. Yeah, I get it. I just don't know why I have to have depression. It really makes me mad when people say that people are faking depression or using it for attention. What sane person would do that? It's not as amazing as people try to make it seem on TV. I just don't even know what to do anymore. Is being happy even worth fighting for?... ~ Dani xx