You don't understand.

I hate that most people don't understand depression. I had a conversation yesterday with my cousin and it keeps running through my head. He asked me why I'm depressed and I replied saying its been a bunch of reasons stacked up. The funny thing is, he isn't the first person that's asked me this. It's hard to explain... Then my cousin said that I should just get over it and then he asked why I wouldn't want to be happy. I just stared at him and said, don't you think I want to be happy? I didn't choose this. Depression is a disease and not something you can just 'get over'. I would love to have a happy life, and not a care in the world, but I don't. I often find myself searching for a reason to be happy, and almost always I come back empty handed. It's people like him that make me feel alone, like I'm some sort of messed up freak. He doesn't get it and neither do most of the people I know. I didn't choose this. This isn't the life I wanted. xx -Dani.